Tag Archives: inspiration

Long-Distance Relationships: Are They Really That Far-Fetched?

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Recently, I started a brand spanking new chapter in my life. Just last month, I packed as much of my life as I possibly could into one big duffle bag and moved to California. I landed a dream internship, made a bunch of incredible new friends, and have been taking advantage of all the West Coast has to offer. Before starting my new awesome life, I had to make a tough decision. Never in a million years did I think it would be a TOUGH decision for me, and never in a million years did I think I would make the decision that I did. It’s something I had always considered a common sense  “DON’T DO” in life. I decided to go for a LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

Before now, I always thought long-distance relationships were just idiotic since they’re obviously unrealistic. I thought that daily 2 hour phone calls, texts with lovey-dovey emoticons and “<3”, as well as Skype dates don’t really cut it. What is a relationship if there are thousands of miles separating you and your significant other? How is it considered a relationship if there are no physical relations? Why do couples decide to do it with the false hope that they’ll be the 1 out of 3 long-distance relationships that work out? I mean a “successful long-distance relationship” sounds like an oxymoron. I always told myself I would never get involved in a far-away romance- no matter what. I believed I was smarter than that… Little did I know: it’s not about smarts, but rather the strength of two people and the determined love they have for one another.

I’ve noticed that the timing in my life has been hilariously terrible, as if the universe is either trying to punish me or test me in some way. Just when I think I’m starting to see things a little more clearly and find my way, someone comes and turns off the lights, and I’m lost in the dark once again. Oh, the unexpected- life’s fun little frustrating surprises. I’ve learned to embrace these surprises with a sense of humor, but most importantly, to try to understand why they occur and what significant meaning they may hold. Everything happens for a reason, whether we like it or not.  Like the fact that I had to meet my boyfriend a year ago, fall in love with him, and was forced to leave him behind to start my next chapter in life in the real world.

If I didn’t love the guy it would be a different story. But the fact of the matter is that I do love him. What’s crazier than a being in a long-distance relationship? Well, breaking up with the one you love and ending something so special when there’s absolutely nothing wrong. Yes, about 2500 miles stand between us, but somehow it felt like it couldn’t break us. Our relationship is strong and it has especially toughened over the past year. Then suddenly I found myself saying the five words I’ve heard several of my friends say in the past, and doubted every time: “We will make it work.”

Here’s the thing about my long-distance relationship: it’s most likely temporary, since my boyfriend plans on moving out to me after Christmas (maybe). It seems that ever since I’ve been in one, I’ve met others in the same boat as I. I’ve watched many of them crash and burn, which was honestly discouraging; However, I watched a surprising number remain strong and thrive.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I believe it’s the not knowing that makes long-distance relationships work. It seems the majority are not meant to be a permanent deal. Even if it takes some length of time to reunite, the fact is that the two will reunite eventually.  Yes, for many people, long-distance relationships just don’t work, and maybe it’s because it’s just not meant to be. Ya’ll know how I feel about fate… I trust the shit out of it.

So I guess it’s not a matter of how many mountains, states, oceans, seas, or time that stand between you and your partner; it’s a matter of strength, trust, honesty, and commitment on both ends of the relationship. Most importantly, if you love each other enough to WANT to make it work then I believe you CAN make it work.

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The Ten SINGLE GIRL Commandments

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It has been 5 months since her breakup, and I realized my friend had overcome the worst of her broken heart; she was finally ready for my “The Beauty of Being a Single Woman” lecture. Now even though I’m currently in a relationship, I’ve had enough experience to have a Ph.D. in Single Girl Living- if there were such thing. For Pete’s sake, I wrote a whole book about my ridiculous single life. So, I sat my friend down to unveil the beautiful truth about being a single woman in today’s world.

The Myth: single women are lonely and unattractive or just whores who can’t settle down.

This is completely and utterly FALSE! I cannot understand where these polar stigmas came from, but whoever created this nonsense should be bitch slapped… multiple times.

Single Women, it is so easy to buy into that bullshit stereotype, but please, please, please DON’T let it define you. You can and you must define yourself, which is the first and most essential step in single girl living. I believe it’s a good idea to create your own set of rules and standards so you don’t conform to the stupid stigma or feel completely lost in this new and unfamiliar world.

I would like to share something I decided to create for myself when I first joined the single world…

The 10 Single Girl Commandments

  1. Thou shalt not go out and solely hunt for boyfriend material; thou shall be open to unattached flings and uncomplicated romances.
  2. Thou shalt not opt to stay in for the night alone, wearing sweats, devouring a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, watching mushy Meg Ryan Chick Flicks, and sulking about an ex-boyfriend, when given the opportunity to have a fun and exciting girls’ night out.
  3. Thou shall be permitted to an occasional one-night-stand, so long as she is cautious, safe and smart, and doesn’t make a habit of it.
  4. Thou shalt not confuse an occasional one-night-stand/no-strings-attached fling with a faithful/serious relationship; Thou shalt not let these casual romances cause drama, heartache, and especially heartbreak.
  5. Thou shall use this time in your life wisely, and focus on gaining self-confidence, improving self-esteem, and taking full advantage of the independence and glorious freedom as a single woman.
  6. Thou shalt not hook up with a guy who is in a relationship- even if he tells you he’s single, but your gut and guy-lie-detector tells you different.
  7. Thou shalt not lower your standards of guys just because you’re not looking for boyfriend material or anything serious.
  8. Thou shalt not go home with a guy without the approval of a trusted girlfriend after a night of margheritas, vodka cranberries, or other heavy drinking; if tequila was consumed during the night, getting a second/third opinion would not be a bad idea.
  9. Thou shalt not abandon new opportunities to try new things and meet new people, nor hesitate to take on daring and exciting challenges; thou shall flirt with the hottest guy at the bar (even if you think he’s out of your league)!

10. Thou shalt not be completely opposed to the idea of ending their single girl lifestyle for a special guy, one with potential for something more serious and beneficial than a one-night ordeal; thou shall trust fate and be compliant with how and when it unfolds.

I may, or may not have, sinned a few times, but for the most part, I stuck with it. In such a free and unstructured time in your life, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself and who you are and self-values. I believe it helps to make a list of do’s and don’ts for your self to prevent it all from getting out of control. I probably added 20 or more commandments to the list as I progressed through this era of my life. The additional commandments are just proof of lessons learned and lessons I wouldn’t want to learn again.

So, despite what you may have heard about being a single woman, I can tell you it’s really not all that bad! Even if you’ve never really been single before and you don’t think you know how to be single, you do; actually, you will be surprised at how fast and easy it is to adapt to this lifestyle. Even though I’m happily in relationship, I still consider my single girl era the best time of my life; it was also the most important and empowering time of my life. Yes, I met a lot of douchebags, but fortunately these idiots were just guys I met- not ex-boyfriends or heartbreakers-just idiots. However, I am grateful for these idiots because they did make me wiser; I was able to see what I wanted and didn’t want in a guy when it came time for me to retire from the single life.

During my single girl era, I was also able to learn a lot about myself, focus on my needs, and I had the freedom to experience many new things that I couldn’t or wouldn’t do if I was in a relationship. I was able to reinvent myself and be who I wanted to be. Eventually, I acquired more self-confidence than ever before. I learned that I could be happy being a strong independent woman and my own; I didn’t have to rely on a guy for happiness or self-validation. It was my single-girl experiences that truly improved me and prepared me for a serious relationship.

So to my single friends: do not be ashamed nor fear the label of a single woman… Instead, embrace it, take full advantage of it; wear that label loud and proud till it’s totally worn the fuck out.

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I’M REALLY PISSED AT YOU… JUST GIVE ME A SECOND TO FIND A REASON WHY- bitching without a cause

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Over the weekend, I had a revelation while I was with my boyfriend. It’s something I’ve done before in this relationship and in past relationships. It’s something that many women, and some men, are guilty of in relationships… And most of the time, we rather not admit to it. Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m talking about Bitching Without a Cause/Bitch Without a Cause (BWC); instigating unnecessary drama in your relationship by starting a fight for no good reason. You may be thinking: what the hell kind of ridiculous nonsense is this girl talking about?  I hate drama and I would never start a fight for no reason with my boyfriend/girlfriend, or anyone for that matter.

Well, when I came to this revelation, I was pretty effing shocked myself. I thought I was the kind of person that tries to avoid drama as much as possible. I hate confrontation and I consider myself a very easygoing and tolerant person. That’s not to say I can’t be intentionally bitchy… because I definitely can; however, it’s usually for an extremely good reason… It takes a lot to really piss me off. This proves that you don’t have to be a bitchy person to be at fault of BWC.

Before I continue, it’s important to note that there is a fine line between BWC (irrationally pulling the bitch-card OCCASIONALLY) and just being a plain ole bitch (bitching senselessly ALL THE TIME). If you’re bitching all the time- well, that’s a whole other issue.

From my own experience, I went through four phases of BWC.

It all started when I went to visit my boyfriend in New England for the weekend. It’s important to mention that we just had our one-year anniversary a couple months ago, and everything is going really great; it seems like we’re in the Golden Age of our relationship.

Anyways, on our way to dinner, he was kind of quiet and playing on his phone. I could see he was tired after a long day of work and wasn’t feeling real chatty per say. Usually I would just let him be and give him peace, as an understanding girlfriend would. But for some reason I didn’t leave him be, even though I understood the legitimate reason to why he was the he was.

(1) Dropping the Bombinstigating the pointless drama with the first bitchy comment.

“Babe, I came all the way to visit and spend the weekend with, and you’re on your phone all quiet like I’m not even here. It’s just really rude,” I said.

A part of me knew I was being ridiculous and that bitching him out over something so trivial was obviously wrong and stupid. But I didn’t stop… for some reason I kept going. I didn’t just blow the situation out of proportion- I atomic-bombed it.

“I’m just really tired, babe. I’m not really in a talkative mood.”

(2) The Guilt-Tripmaking the good guy look like the asshole in the situation.

“Well, I’m tired, too, but I still came all the way to see you… We only have a couple of days together before I go away for two weeks. I’ve missed you this past week… All I’ve wanted to do is be with you. Listen, if you’re that tired, I’ll just go home to New York-… It’s okay, really,” I said.

“No I don’t want you to go. I told you, I’m just tired. I’m just not talkative at this very moment in time. I’ll feel better and I’ll have more energy once I get some food in me. Why are making such a big deal? You know that I’m happy you’re here, Babe. I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week,” he said.

(3) The Wake-up– that moment you realize you’re not making any effing sense- you’re just being a complete bitch.

“I just- I don’t know… I thought you’d be more excited to see me, I guess. I know you’re tired… I- I don’t know,” I said.

(4) The Apology- taking responsibility/ finding a lame excuse for BWC.

“I’m sorry babe. I guess I have a lot on my mind right now. I’m tired, too. Let’s just have a good weekend,” I said

This wasn’t my worst case of BWC. I’ll admit that I’ve gone overboard. Once, I tried using every wrongdoing of my boyfriend in my arguments (Bitch Ammo), to the point where I completely forgot why I was fighting him in the first place.

So, why do we Bitch Without a Cause? Why do anti-drama queens suddenly act like they have a Black Belt in bitching? I think there are various reasons for BWC, and I still need to give it a lot more thought before I develop my overall theory.

Here is what I have been able to understand about my own BWC experience, which I think might be a very common cause of this behavior:

Like many of you, I’ve been in some pretty crappy relationships and had some traumatizing dating experiences in my day. Undoubtedly, the shitty past has given me numerous insecurities when it comes to being in a relationship. Maybe it’s me being cautious, a way to protect my already beaten-up heart; Regardless, it’s insecurity.  Since my boyfriend and I have reached such an amazing point in our relationship, the cautious/insecure part of me sees it as too good to be true- or maybe that it’s just all untrue. Anyways, I believe I let my own insecurities get the best of me, and used a fight to test my boyfriend and his love for me. Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to hurt him before he hurts me, or to prove my strength and equal power in the relationship. I’m still exploring this concept and don’t want to draw any conclusions just yet.

Sure we’re only human; we all have a little bitchy in us. We might BWC out of curiosity. We might do it to get it out of our system. We might even BWC just because we’re bored in the relationship and feel a need to stir things up a bit. Some guys actually like to see the bitchy side of their girlfriends once in a long while; they like the challenge. But for those who BWC like me, we might need to find a healthier alternative when it comes to dealing with those insecurities rather than using our boyfriends as the “punching bag.”


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Are you Batman or Robin in the Relationship?

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He was smart, witty, charming, ridiculously friendly, wildly funny, and a genuine human being. He was everyone’s best buddy. He was the guy everyone wanted at their party because he was always the life of the party. This guy never had a socially awkward moment in his life because he always knew the perfect thing to say to avoid them. He had the best jokes, the best stories, and even had his own hilarious terminology. Not to mention, he was the greatest conversationalist that ever lived. He would talk to anyone that listened, including random strangers- and they loved every minute of him. He was also deep and wise and incredibly inspiring when he wanted to be. Everyone and their mother loved this guy. Oh, and a few years ago, this guy just so happened to be my boyfriend.

My description above is exactly why I fell hard and fast for this guy. The minute I met him, I wanted him to put a ring on my finger. Honestly, I thought I hit the jackpot.

Here’s the thing: I happen to be a very outgoing person myself. I love being the center of attention in a social scene, the leading star in the show. But, in this relationship, my boyfriend was Batman and I was his sidekick Robin.

For the sake of protecting his identity, let’s call my ex Bruce Wayne, which is Batman’s real name… In case you’re wondering, I grew up with a older brother who was a huge comic book nerd. I’ll admit I happen to know way too much about superheroes.

Many girls believe that meeting the boyfriend’s parents is a big deal because we want to make the best impression and get their approval. Yet, I think meeting the boyfriend’s friends is an even bigger deal since many guys value their bro’s approval- sometimes more than their parent’s approval. Also, you hang out with the bros more than the parents, so good relations between the boyfriend’s friends and the girlfriend are super duper important.

This is why I was beyond thrilled when I got Bruce’s friends’ approval. But then again, it seemed like they would approve of me regardless just because of the fact I was dating their favorite friend. It was like they all came to this agreement: Any girl Bruce loves, we love too. Nonetheless, I loved that everyone loved Bruce. I loved being the girlfriend of such an awesome dude.

One summer night, we went to his friend’s house for beers and a bonfire. It was one of many parties we had gone to while dating, and it always went down the same way every time. Basically, as soon as we got to the party, we were surrounded by all of Bruce’s friends/ loyal and crazed fans, anxiously awaiting Bruce to say something funny and entertain for the night.  At the party, it felt like we were being introduced as: “Here’s Bruce and his sidekick Bree.” That night it really hit me… I was the Robin in our relationship, and Bruce was none other than the honorable and kick-ass Batman.

I sat there that night, and saw that all eyes were always on Bruce, and Bruce didn’t hate the spotlight- not one bit. In fact, he basked in it like a huge attention-whore. It’s not that I felt jealous or anything, but I definitely felt invisible, unimportant. I also noticed that Bruce was so busy entertaining and being the awesome guy at the party that he forgot all about me. Suddenly, I was just another person in the audience.

After the party, I loved how he asked: “Babe, how come you were so quiet all night?”

“Maybe it’s because I couldn’t get an effing word in with you talking up a storm and entertaining your loving fans,” is what I wanted to say.

“I don’t know. I talked to Joe’s girlfriend a lot,” is what I really said/lied.

“Well my friends love you, babe. Danny was even saying how awesome you are tonight,” he said.

“That’s bullshit, you’re friends don’t love me. They love you. You’re Batman, everyone loves Batman. I’m not awesome- I’m Robin. And no one cares for the awkward small sidekick in ridiculous tights,” is what I wanted to say.

“Aw they’re all great. That’s sweet of Danny,” is what I really said.

I didn’t let the whole Batman and Robin issue get to me too much. After all, what was I going to say-“Babe stop being Batman and hogging the spotlight all the time”? I loved the guy and I was really his number one fan… so I decided to just let it go.

But then, we hung out with my group of friends (my fan club) and once again he became the star- the star of MY show.

I was going to confront him about it, but then I realized how ridiculously silly I was being. He wasn’t intentionally trying to steal my spotlight or belittle me in front of my friends. It’s not his fault that he’s an outgoing, funny, and charming guy. It’s not his fault that he was truly a cool dude.

Eventually, I embraced being the “dynamic duo;” however, I no longer saw myself as the sidekick Robin, but rather as the other Batman. We were a great a couple and learned how to share the spotlight. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out with Bruce for many different reasons, which I will share later in the future.

Anyways, I learned that when you’re a couple, there doesn’t always have to be the superhero and his/her sidekick. It is possible to have two awesome leading superheroes in a relationship, and together form an incredibly kick-ass and unstoppable force.

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Stop worrying about finding “the one.” Start enjoying the adventures along the way

ImageJust the other day my friend said to me: “Bree, how do you find the right one?” I sat there, wanting to give her a simple wise answer, but I couldn’t. Why? Well, because I don’t know if I’ve found “the one” yet.

After years of flings and being in and out of relationships, I’ve realized that I’m better off not trying to make the guys I date “the one.” I’m the type of girl who lives in the moment and just enjoys the very notion of romance. I’ve realized that by only searching for love, you miss out on the fun of romantic experiences. Not to mention, it’s the experiences that allow us to see what we want and what we don’t want in our significant others.

On your journey to finding “the one,” I believe it’s important to embrace all the bumps and ditches in the road along the way; never see your exes and failed relationships as wastes of time. Learn from them, grow from them, and be grateful for them. I believe these experiences only help guide us in the right direction to finding our soul mates.

Personally, I’m in no rush, especially at 23-years-old. I rather test the waters, instead of jumping into one shitty pool and swimming in it for the rest of my life. Then again, I don’t plan on taking a dip in hundreds of pools either.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m a follower of fate, and I know fate has a plan for me in terms of finding “the one”… when it’s meant to be and I know it’s the real thing, I’ll dive right in.

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“Sure, he treats me like crap… but aside from that, he’s a really great guy.”

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The other day, I met up with a good friend at Starbuck’s, and as we shamelessly sipped our ice caramel macchiatos, she told me about this guy she has been seeing for just a couple of months. Not too long ago, my friend was completely heart broken and utterly depressed, after ending a five-year relationship with a guy she thought was “the one.”  He ended up cheating on her with her old roommate… Gross, I know. It was a complete shocker to everyone since he seemed like a really good guy. Not mention, my good friend happens to be a total knockout- I mean, she has the whole package, and any guy would be crazy to cheat on her. Anyways, I was thrilled to hear she was finally moving on and seeing other guys. But then, she started explaining her new fling to me… Unfortunately, it sounded like she moved on from one asshole and onto another asshole.

Here are some of the things she said about this guy:

“He’s really cocky, which I’m not crazy about… and sometimes he’s can be rude, but I just laugh it off.”

“Many people think he’s a total jerk, but they just need to get to know him.”

“He put me down in front of his friends, but he’s like a totally different guy when we’re alone. I know he’s really not a jerk like that… He just tries to show off in front of his friends.”

… Okay, so now you can see why my douchebag-detector went off like crazy.

I just couldn’t understand it! My good friend is absolutely drop-dead gorgeous and she’s one of the sweetest and most wonderful people I’ve ever met. It’s not like she’s dumb either… In fact, she’s incredibly smart, a grad student with a bright future ahead of her. So why was she doing such a stupid thing by getting involved with an obvious jerk?

But then again, who am I to say anything? I’ve been guilty of getting involved with assholes, and being in denial that they were in fact terrible guys. Actually, I’ve been guilty of this crime – not once, not twice, but more times than I’m willing to admit. And I know my good friend and I are not alone… There are many, many girls who go for the assholes and are somehow willing to put up with all the bullshit that comes with it. It’s become somewhat of an epidemic, and it’s a topic I need to address right here, right now.

I would like to carefully point out that this does not apply to all females. I mean there are many women who refuse to put up with the least bit of bullshit, and I would like to applaud them because they are wise and the rest of us can learn a thing or two from them. But for the women who do put up with these guys, I’d like to share some insight on the subject… After all, like I said, I do have a history of being a serial asshole-dater.

So, why do we do it? Why do we find all these excuses for their bad behavior? Why do we go for these guys in first place- is it because nice guys aren’t as fun? Here are just a couple of important points in my theory:

 “Hard to Please”

These guys portray a form of “hard to get” behavior that many girls tend to be drawn to. Instead of acting all “hard to get,” they act all “hard to please,” and they do this by treating us like crap. It’s hard to please them, excite them, etc, so we go over and beyond to make them happy and get their approval of us. Psychology is the dangerous weapon they use to lock us into the relationship and take control. They basically take advantage of our vulnerability in the relationship so they can get what they want. Sounds like an asshole-thing to do, right? Well, that’s because they are A-holes!

“Beauty and the Beast Syndrome”

I’ve heard many girls, including myself, say: “I think I can change him and make him a better person.”

Why is it that we suddenly feel it is our god-given responsibility to help improve these assholes to become better human beings? For some reason, we believe that we can ultimately change them into soft romantic gentlemen. Ladies, it’s not our fault that our maternal/ caretaker instinct comes into play. We have this natural compassion that drives us to help the uncompassionate. Yes, we can’t help but to believe that we are capable of achieving such a difficult task. It’s what I like to call “Beauty and the Beast Syndrome;” the romantic idea that we could be like Belle and teach compassion and love to a big tough ferocious beast.

If you read my previous blog about Disney, you know how mad I am at them for providing unrealistic ideas of romance, love, and relationships. In real life, there aren’t any talking teapots and candlesticks, and most of the time-not all the time- but most of the time we can’t use song and dance to transform our terrible beast into prince charming. There are many beasts out there that will always be beasts. I’m not saying it’s impossible to soften and infect them with more empathy. It has been done- I’m sure. But what I am saying is that trying to transform a ferocious beast can be difficult and it can be dangerous; it’s just not worth it if it’s detrimental to yourself. Even if you think he’s a good guy deep down, you have to consider the fact that he is an asshole on the surface. That means you’ll have to deal with the asshole more than you’ll deal with the nice guy hidden inside.

Anyways, I will tell you what I told my best friend… Every girl deserves a GREAT guy, one that respects her, that’s loving, affectionate, honest, loyal and romantic. Basically, we all deserve a guy who will treat us like the incredible and beautiful women that we are.  Why should we spend so much time and effort trying to transform these beasts into our ideal man when we can just find someone who doesn’t require any alterations because he’s already our ideal man?

There is one final thought I must share regarding this topic…

After I gave my anti-asshole speech, my good friend said this: “Bree, I don’t know what it is… I guess I just like the “bad boy” type.”

Okay, there is a common misunderstanding of the “bad boy” type. The “bad boy” type is sexy; they have tattoos, piercings, ride motorcycles, and may have had a few innocent bar fights in their day. Yet, when it comes to these tough guys and their women, they are a big mushy pile of love. The “bad boy” type should not be confused with the bad guys who treat women like crap- those guys are just assholes.

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Disney Can Suck It!

An entry I wrote to my diary as a chubby awkward 12- year- old:

Dear Diary,

My first boyfriend is going to be tall, tan, with bright blue eyes. He’ll have a perfect smile that lights up the room, along with a pair of cute dimples. He’s going to have really nice four-pack abs (six-packs are too over-the-top). My boyfriend’s name is going to be Jake Ryan like the babe from Sixteen Candles. Mr. Jake Ryan is going to be outgoing, really smart, wealthy, sexy, caring, and definitely funny. Above all, he will be extremely romantic.

Jake is going to send me flowers everyday when I’m at work. And then, when I come home from a long day on the job, he’ll have a path of rose petals leading to a hundred candles illuminating the room, and a candle-lit dinner ready for me. Jake is going to always tell me I’m so beautiful and that he is the luckiest man in the world to have me in his life. He won’t be able to keep his hands off me. He will try to cut down kissing me on the forehead, but will find it to be the most challenging thing he has ever done in his life. Jake will take me out to dinner at a five-star restaurant and order the kind of champagne only celebs drink. He’ll look at me from across the table, his eyes completely obsessed with me. Throughout our date, he will take my hand and kiss the top of it without taking his eyes off me.

Jake and I will date for a couple years. Then we’ll get in some silly fight, and stop talking for a week. Then on a rainy day in November, I’ll be at the supermarket (where we met) and he’ll come to me begging for my forgiveness, but I’ll try hard to ignore him. As I start walking away from him, he’ll start making a scene and yell out how he’s so in love with me. He’ll say that he won’t give up until he’s got me. At first, other shoppers in the market will stare at him like he’s crazy, and I’ll get embarrassed. But then when he tells the story about our love and how he’ll do anything to get me back, people will find it adorable and really, really romantic. The women shoppers will be jealous that I found such a perfect man.

Then Jake will slowly walk over to me and wipe away the two tears rolling down my cheek. He’ll smile, reach in his pocket, and kneel down on one knee. Mr. Jake Ryan will gently take my hand and propose to me with a (not-too-big, yet not-too-small) princess-cut diamond ring, which will slip onto my ring finger with ease. I’ll start sobbing (gracefully) and say: “YES!” To which he will jump up, gently grab my face and kiss me passionately while everyone starts clapping and cheering. We’ll then have beautiful wedding on the beach. Later on, I’ll pop out two kids and then we’ll grow old together and live happily ever after. THE END. Diary, I seriously can’t wait to meet my Jake Ryan!

Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic

I wrote this diary entry when I was just a silly pre-teen and I sincerely thought that one day this cliché chick flick would be the true story of how I found love. Unfortunately, instead of falling in love with Jake Ryan, I have encountered several bumps, ditches, booby-traps, and unexpected turns on the road to finding romance. Had I known the kind of guys I was going to meet and the kind of bizarre experiences I was going to endure, I probably would have chosen the lesbian route. When I look back to this diary entry of a naïve young girl who dreamt of prince charming and living a fairytale, I can’t help but feel envious of her innocence, or delusion- whatever you want to call it.

For years, I have always wondered why girls get the perfect prince charming seed deeply implanted in their minds. I have finally come up with a legitimate answer: I blame Disney. Disney told us finding our prince charming and falling in love and living happily ever after is easy. Aladdin, who is personally the hottest leading male Disney character, took Jasmine for a magic carpet ride around Saudi Arabia for their FIRST DATE. Aladdin never cheated, had a drinking problem, or played video games for days on end! And then there’s Sleeping Beauty; her Prince Phillip found her in the forest one day, and it was love at first sight. This guy was even capable of bringing her out of a serious coma… just by kissing her. Prince Phillip didn’t sleep with her, act cute and all “into her” and then never called again. They were married and lived “Happily Ever After.” Don’t even get me started with Eric from The Little Mermaid… You’d think a guy who is able to fall in love with a mute fish has to have some serious issues in store; but no, he was perfect.

Disney never told us that these guys had flaws and that relationships take work, dedication, and time to improve. Love doesn’t always happen right away, and sometimes love doesn’t end in happily ever after. Disney provided an unrealistic portrayal of love, and for that I have struggled to understand why no one ever warned us that finding true love is incredibly difficult in this day and age. Which is why I present to you my strange version of “fairytales.” My “fairytales” wouldn’t be made into a Disney movie, but they do contain truth and reality… seriously, you can’t make this shit up.

 

 

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