Recently, I started a brand spanking new chapter in my life. Just last month, I packed as much of my life as I possibly could into one big duffle bag and moved to California. I landed a dream internship, made a bunch of incredible new friends, and have been taking advantage of all the West Coast has to offer. Before starting my new awesome life, I had to make a tough decision. Never in a million years did I think it would be a TOUGH decision for me, and never in a million years did I think I would make the decision that I did. It’s something I had always considered a common sense “DON’T DO” in life. I decided to go for a LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
Before now, I always thought long-distance relationships were just idiotic since they’re obviously unrealistic. I thought that daily 2 hour phone calls, texts with lovey-dovey emoticons and “<3”, as well as Skype dates don’t really cut it. What is a relationship if there are thousands of miles separating you and your significant other? How is it considered a relationship if there are no physical relations? Why do couples decide to do it with the false hope that they’ll be the 1 out of 3 long-distance relationships that work out? I mean a “successful long-distance relationship” sounds like an oxymoron. I always told myself I would never get involved in a far-away romance- no matter what. I believed I was smarter than that… Little did I know: it’s not about smarts, but rather the strength of two people and the determined love they have for one another.
I’ve noticed that the timing in my life has been hilariously terrible, as if the universe is either trying to punish me or test me in some way. Just when I think I’m starting to see things a little more clearly and find my way, someone comes and turns off the lights, and I’m lost in the dark once again. Oh, the unexpected- life’s fun little frustrating surprises. I’ve learned to embrace these surprises with a sense of humor, but most importantly, to try to understand why they occur and what significant meaning they may hold. Everything happens for a reason, whether we like it or not. Like the fact that I had to meet my boyfriend a year ago, fall in love with him, and was forced to leave him behind to start my next chapter in life in the real world.
If I didn’t love the guy it would be a different story. But the fact of the matter is that I do love him. What’s crazier than a being in a long-distance relationship? Well, breaking up with the one you love and ending something so special when there’s absolutely nothing wrong. Yes, about 2500 miles stand between us, but somehow it felt like it couldn’t break us. Our relationship is strong and it has especially toughened over the past year. Then suddenly I found myself saying the five words I’ve heard several of my friends say in the past, and doubted every time: “We will make it work.”
Here’s the thing about my long-distance relationship: it’s most likely temporary, since my boyfriend plans on moving out to me after Christmas (maybe). It seems that ever since I’ve been in one, I’ve met others in the same boat as I. I’ve watched many of them crash and burn, which was honestly discouraging; However, I watched a surprising number remain strong and thrive.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I believe it’s the not knowing that makes long-distance relationships work. It seems the majority are not meant to be a permanent deal. Even if it takes some length of time to reunite, the fact is that the two will reunite eventually. Yes, for many people, long-distance relationships just don’t work, and maybe it’s because it’s just not meant to be. Ya’ll know how I feel about fate… I trust the shit out of it.
So I guess it’s not a matter of how many mountains, states, oceans, seas, or time that stand between you and your partner; it’s a matter of strength, trust, honesty, and commitment on both ends of the relationship. Most importantly, if you love each other enough to WANT to make it work then I believe you CAN make it work.